The Last Box

Until a couple of days ago, this is what was left of my real estate life:

I've had it sitting next to my desk for over a month,  intending to sort through it. Finally I seized an empty morning and dug in. Client files I scanned then shredded, and the rest I either scanned then trashed, or gave away.  I did keep a few office supplies.

So it's all over. Still feels strange.

There are vestiges left -- equipment I purchased for the real estate business that I am glad I invested in, as I would never have sprung for these items otherwise (being what Gretchen Rubin and others call an under buyer). At the top of this list of useful equipment is my scanner:

Note the small footprint. Deceptive, because this little guy scans fast and in quantity. Shortly after I purchased it at the beginning of my real estate venture, I took it for a spin by tackling the clutter in our office closet.

We had an entire shelving unit full of binders, which were stuffed with college papers, memorabilia, and photos. I trashed some papers, but what I couldn't part with, I scanned into  labeled folders on my laptop, then backed it all up to an external hard drive. The pictures went into iPhoto, and the actual photos went into photo boxes. We opened up a ton of space, and the scanning was so easy!

I would never have bought this piece of office equipment had I not done real estate. Just too expensive, and I could never have justified it to myself, but it's been worth every penny for its organizing and decluttering abilities.

So thank you Real Estate Venture, for giving me the opportunity to learn new things, make new friends, have different experiences, and own a zippy scanner.

Changing Direction

Until today, the About Me blurb on this page read:

"Middle-aged and muddled, I am writing toward a life decision. Shall I stick with my business, or quit and do something else? There's more involved, and I've a lot of exploring to do. I won't be hasty."

The decision was made and I've moved on. As of January 1, my decision to quit real estate has become a reality. While my state license remains active, I am no longer active with the Board of Realtors and so do not have access to the MLS (Multiple Listings Service).

I've changed my introduction to reflect the new direction of this blog (not so terribly different from the old direction, just not as specific in intent). Also, I don't like to call myself muddled. Maybe I am muddled, but I don't want to be. Living with greater clarity and simplicity is a goal of mine, and seeing that I am "middle-aged and muddled" every time I pop into this page is not so great.

So this year the key word is integration and the goal is living whole. To 2013!

Complications

Transitioning from real estate has become more complicated than I expected. I am currently working with a client, a very picky professional couple. They want to live in a better neighborhood and in a house with lower maintenance, but have no truly burning motivation for moving, so I've been wondering whether I should refer them. I kind of hate to, because I've spent several months showing them houses.

Well, guess what? Yep, we found the perfect house this past Friday, and they are now under contract. Woo hoo!

The complicated part is that they can afford to purchase before selling their current home, which is the path they have chosen. They'll have the luxury of moving out on their own timeline, then getting the house ready for market. We're looking at late October as the earliest the house would list, and I had hoped to be out of real estate by then.

Having a listing means, among other things, being on call 24/7.  I'm considering asking them if I could bring in another agent, but these clients happen to be close friends. I'll have to proceed carefully. I do know that if I list it, I would want to put 100% effort behind selling it. They don't need to be stuck with two houses.

I'm already planning to put back money from my fee earned from their purchased home toward staging and marketing their house. I would do my best, but fear my heart is no longer in it. Referring to a good, experienced agent may be the best thing for them. I'll have to think about this one. I want to do right by them, and also by me.

On another note, of my transition projects, the only one I've tackled with measurable success is cleaning up and organizing my home office. I've a long way to go, but I'm getting there. I need to work with budgets next. Having an unexpected commission check coming in October changes things. Nice income, but also unexpected expense as I will need to maintain monthly office fees and pay MLS dues for the fourth quarter.

There is No Try. Unless You're Me

I made the decision a couple of weeks ago to quit real estate. My first and most important task, as I posted here, was to talk to my broker about it.

I haven't followed through. Not that I didn't try. We have training on Thursdays which he facilitates, and I had planned to talk to him after. For the first time, he missed the class. Another agent sat in, one that I like very much, and I spoke with him as a "practice." He was encouraging and had some good advice. So far, so good.

Last Wednesday I again went in to chat with my broker, and he was out of town! In hindsight, I should have set up a meeting with him in advance, but he is nearly ALWAYS in the office. I've been out of town myself since, visiting family, so I try again tomorrow. This is getting ridiculous.

Time to live Yoda's quote, "Do or do not. There is no try."

How Not to Design a New Kitchen

Kat and I have lived in our little house for thirteen years now. Our current kitchen decor dates back ten years, which is when we painted our cabinets white and the walls blue. I do love a blue and white kitchen, but the look needs freshening up. We decided to reface the cabinets, replace the laminate countertops, and trash the window toppers in favor of something simpler. Fresh paint and perhaps a backsplash should finish the job. All of this depends on budget as I don't want to borrow for a kitchen re-do.

One day last week I was exploring the kitchen section of our favorite home improvement store, when the floor person approached me. He seemed friendly enough, and as we've had good experiences with employees of this store helping us with DIY projects, I accepted his offer to send a designer on the store's dime to our house for a consultation. He assured us there would be no pressure to purchase anything, that the designer would be paid regardless of an order from us. "That's good," I told him. "Because we won't be ready to do this until next year."

Fast forward to the designer's visit. I asked him questions about color, "How do I better integrate my warm living room with my cool kitchen?"  "Uh . . . "

And the PRESSURE. Good gad. As we entered the second hour of his interminable visit, I wondered how we would get him out of the house. He wanted an order and he wasn't hearing 'no'. I began to think Kat would have to physically remove him. We were polite as he went over all the financing options (for an $8,000 job that didn't include countertops or anything other than the refacing), and offered incentive after incentive with each 'no'. "If you order within the next 24 hours I can give you 15% off the entire order. If  you order today I can get your countertops below cost." Etc, etc. By the time he left I was angry, though more with the floor person at the store than with him, and finally more at myself. The thought of consulting with a professional without having to pay for one overwhelmed my good sense.

I know a carpenter who has done fine work for a client at a reasonable price, and once the taste of this experience is out of my mouth, we may contact him for a quote, but we've pretty much decided to do it ourselves. I've been researching the process for refacing, and it doesn't look so bad, especially with Kat's expertise (She built our deck, some patio furniture, a murphy bed, and together we replaced our privacy fence).

Lately I've been slipping back into frugal-thinking mode, and that's because I've reached a decision to ditch real estate (not that I was earning a lot doing it, but the potential was there). This decision might seem hasty after the agonizing back and forth of the past few months, but it involves a lot I haven't yet discussed here. For the next few weeks I will live with the decision and work on Plan B to make sure I'm sure before officially pulling the plug. Right now, the kitchen re-do is a fun dream that's receded in the distance a bit, and I'm ok with that.

Clearing Out Worries

"Live without fear!"
     Command given by the celebrant before the final blessing and dismissal of an Episcopal service

I've been unable to make a major decision, telling myself I will take plenty of time to think things through, waiting until the fall to finally make a decision about whether to pull the plug on my business.

I'm stalling.

I am afraid I will regret leaving real estate. I am afraid I will regret not leaving real estate. The very worst thing I could do is never decide and continue to do a half-assed job at real estate while keeping a toe in my writing ventures. Success at anything requires commitment and focus and passion.

I've been in this sort of twilight world of non-commitment for a while now, long enough to have created habits of thought and attitude in danger of shaping me into a fearful, hesitant person. I want instead to be a fearless, open-hearted, adventuresome person!

To that end, and as a first step, I will drag my fears -- those niggly little worries that live in the dark crannies of my brain -- into the light. Here are a few:

Imagining What Others Will Think of Me.

I got my license a year and a half ago and have trumpeted it to all my friends and acquaintances. Will they think I'm flighty for leaving? Will they respect me less? I have four leads for next year, acquaintances/friends who want to list in the spring. What will they think if I walk away after I've promised to help them?

Disappointing my Broker.

I like my broker very much, and I know he's trying to bring new agents on board. The thought of disappointing him makes me queasy, and that's affecting my ability to think this through.

Failure.

I alluded to this in my last post. I've just closed on the last of five contracts and am not currently involved in a contract process. I have one buyer client who is not in a hurry AT ALL and only two or three weakish prospects. I'm working on it, but what if I can't do it? If I decide to leave right now I won't know whether I would have failed to make it work. If I do leave, I might fail at my writing ventures and whatever Plan B turns out to be.

Money.

Related to the previous. If I stay and am unable to work at least one contract by the end of the year, I will have lost another $1,000 (or close to it) in business expenses. If I leave, I walk away from a lot of potential income, especially given that I have some prospects for this year and leads for work after the new year. And although the height of real estate season is winding down, surely I can drum up at least one contract which would pay my business expenses and give us a couple extra thousand. OTOH, the last drought I endured, between initial contracts shortly after receiving my license and this last spate of contracts, was nearly twelve months. I won't do that again.

Now that these fears are exposed, I can see what pasty little ghost things they are, especially the first three. Time to loosen their power over me.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, "You wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you realized how seldom they do." My friends and acquaintances may take a minute or two to wonder why I'm quitting (if indeed I do) and what I might be up to next, and their musings will quickly be drowned by their own worries. And as for those I've "promised" to help, good for me I happen to know several top-notch agents I can refer them to.

My broker is a big boy. He's been in the business a long time, and though I know he likes me and thinks I have potential, he's seen hundreds of agents come and go. And I'm not exactly a million dollar producer. I think he'll live.

Failure is a matter of perspective. If a venture doesn't turn out as envisioned, it is a failure measured against initial expectations, but the venture has succeeded in moving me along a path to a place I would not otherwise have been, and along that path I've picked up new friends, new skills, and new strength of purpose. (Ok, not much of the latter yet).

The money worry remains a more legitimate concern. It should be the primary concern actually. I started this business solely for the purpose of bringing more funds into the household. So far I've done that, but not nearly the amount I'd expected for the hours worked. Monitoring my business and household budgets and being realistic about projected income will -- I hope -- help me decide this rationally, without a bunch of bugaboos clouding the process.

How to Spend a Thousand Dollars

Monday I finally closed on the deal I thought was falling apart a month ago. Yesterday I picked up my check from the office. Finally, something substantial! The money is going into savings for taxes, into business checking for upcoming expenses, and on the credit card.

Next week, if all goes well, I close on a small deal which will net me a little over $1,000. I should put it on the card and toward business, but I talked to Kat and we're going to pick something from our long list of deferred household projects. Here's where things get tricky. We have a pretty long list, and with money (almost) in hand, it's more difficult to prioritize than I thought it would be.

Right now -- after much discussion -- the top two contenders are a sleeper sofa for the office or a new washer and dryer. We have a futon now in the office for company, and we have a LOT of overnight company. Our bed and breakfast lifestyle is due to living in the lovely city of San Antonio with our families nearby -- Austin, College Station, and near Houston. In fact a a sister and two nieces will be staying with us over Memorial Day weekend. How wonderful to simply pull out the bed and provide a nice mattress for them to sleep on.

BUT, we guesstimate our washer and dryer to be between 30 and 35 years old. They were old when my aunt and uncle got rid of them for spiffier models, and we've had them over 14 years. I'm sure we're committing crimes against the environment by using them, and in the last couple of months they've added a variety of noises to the cacophony they already produce.

Even as I write this, I see the better use of the money is in the washer and dryer. It seems more a need than the sleeper sofa, is something we use more often, and could actually save us money on our utility bill. But we both want the sleeper sofa more, and I know us well enough to know that we don't provide a good brake for the other when we're wanting the same thing. Hmmm. Perhaps we can find some bargains and make this a both/and instead of an either/or.

I have to say, this is the kind of dilemma I like to have.

For God's sake Jim, I'm an Agent not a Plumber!

Miraculously the deal hasn't fallen through. Things are looking up, but closing is not until May, so plenty of time to worry some more.

The reason I started a business in real estate in the first place was -- not so much to start yet another career -- but to bring in extra money. It's a long story how real estate came up as a viable way to earn extra bucks, but let's just say that the person who got me into this assured me it was something I could do part time.

I don't think so.

Work part time and you have no business at all but LOTS of expenses. Maybe I should have done more research before jumping into the deep end. Too late now.

So here I am with a lot of training and some experience. I don't want to walk away from it just because my life has taken a turn I wasn't at all expecting. I made an impulsive decision to get into real estate, but don't want to make the same mistake getting out. (Or was it a mistake? Hmmmm. Telling. This blog is working already!!)

My partner earns enough to support the household, with some put aside for retirement and savings, but not a whole lot extra. I've been doing some not too lucrative writing, home-making, volunteering, paid consulting here and there. We've been ok with the frugal lifestyle, but we have some big expenses and a few wants and I'd like to sock away more for retirement.

The first thing I plan to do with this season of my life is lay groundwork, create habits that will support a more deliberate, informed decision-making process about what's next, and then a COMMITMENT to that thing. More on creating habits in future posts.

Today I should feel relieved and happy about that durn contract, but I feel kind of down. Maybe it's that I know it can still fall through, or maybe it's a completely unrelated phone call on a different house purchased by an out-of-town client that involves me going and checking on a water line or something of which I have no clue. That's why agents recommend their clients use inspectors and contractors. I'm not a plumber, people!!