Showing posts with label worry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label worry. Show all posts

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Money Goals and How We Save

I am writing down specific budget goals for the year. April’s not too late, right? Kat’s buy-in is critical of course, but I’ll discuss with her after I’m satisfied with them. I’ve been sort of working toward these goals already; just haven’t taken the time to record them.

Most have to do with savings — increasing what I call our “cushion” savings as well as our larger "emergency" savings. The former is a savings account where our checking is. I dip into it easily via on-line banking and use it to chunk surplus income into (Kat gets overtime, so some months are better than others), then to take money out for large unexpected expenses.

The “emergency” savings is intended to support us for a few months in case of a major event that might lead to losing a steady paycheck. It is in a separate bank which I cannot access quite as easily. I have an automatic payment plan set up with my primary bank that sends money over with each paycheck.

Automating our savings is something I wish I had done much, much sooner. Since I started doing it two years ago, the account has grown to nearly $7,000 (which equals only about three months of pared down spending). If it weren’t automated, we would be lucky to have $2,000 there. The other $5,000 would have been frittered away.

I also want to increase our targeted savings for the kitchen update. The problem with this targeted savings is the current set-up. I separate it in Quicken from our cushion savings, but in reality it’s in the same account. I will be tempted to dip into that for “cushion” type expenses if my cushion account doesn’t bear up under the weight of those pesky financial hits that seem to keep coming.

The latest is a kitty issue. Our sweet, thirteen-year-old cat Beano (Kat named her; long story) has an abscessed molar. The cost of finding this out and fixing it will probably be close to $700. We’ll find out the extent of the damage after her blood work comes back, the results of which will determine the vet’s approach to the surgery. Fortunately  we just received a bit of a bonus. I paid the last of my real estate taxes, and I had over-saved, giving me an unplanned for $400.

I’ve mentioned before that we’re in a better situation with savings and debt than we’ve ever been before, and yet my worry over this latest set-back feels about the same as it would have a few years ago. As I left the vet’s office, I worried about Miss Bean of course, but then I started worrying about the fact that we have five senior pets, and are we well enough prepared for the inevitable increase in vet expenses? (Not really). What happens if they all get sick or need surgery at the same time?

So I indulged in a little hyperventilation.

Going back to what I wrote about Murphy vs Providence, I am determined to cultivate gratitude. I will be grateful for the bonus we received just in time to defray the cost of Beano’s surgery; grateful that it wasn’t worse than it is; grateful that we are in a decent financial position and have the resources to handle home and auto and pet and health issues, even if doing so means we can’t have some of the things we want. How many people don’t have these resources? How many have to deal with problems I can’t even imagine dealing with? I say “Thank you” through gritted teeth and hope that the practice  becomes an orientation toward life -- without the gritted teeth.

So there’s my number one financial goal — to continue to practice gratitude and to trust in life’s abundance. Trust that what we need will somehow be there, and to be grateful when it is. I do have more specific goals to work toward and will post them after chatting with Kat.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Unexpected Expenses of the Young New Year

Today the sun is shining! But it's still too cold for me. Brrr.

Kat and I had decided to take a break from household maintenance projects at least for the months of January and February. But God laughs at our plans!! It's been so cold (for South Texas; I'm sure many would think our shivering at temps in the 30's and 40's is amusing), that we've wanted to make our feral kitties more comfortable.

Kat built a little door in the side of the garage that can be closed off at night when our furry friends are safely inside, then we bought some Purr Pads and a small heater. Those boys are nice and warm at night now (you can guess they're not very feral any more, if they ever were true ferals). Cost was around $100, but worth it for the peace of mind.

Unexpected expenses in other categories in the new year are a defunct hard drive in Kat's laptop ($160 to replace) and a $170 trip to the dentist for me. It was a routine cleaning, but I was due x-rays and a consult with the dentist. All is fine except that I have two teeth with recessed gumlines that need to be filled at a cost of $270. Sigh. That comes up in February.

Not so good, but on the other hand, where we can better control expenses -- such as dining in and keeping our grocery bill in check -- we've done well. I'm determined to NOT be like the king in the old nursery rhyme who sat in his counting house counting out his money. Being budget conscious is one thing, but in the past few years I've gotten obsessive and overly anxious about it. We'll do what we can to be prudent, and beyond that I will trust life (part of my personal mission statement).

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Clearing Out Worries

"Live without fear!"
     Command given by the celebrant before the final blessing and dismissal of an Episcopal service

I've been unable to make a major decision, telling myself I will take plenty of time to think things through, waiting until the fall to finally make a decision about whether to pull the plug on my business.

I'm stalling.

I am afraid I will regret leaving real estate. I am afraid I will regret not leaving real estate. The very worst thing I could do is never decide and continue to do a half-assed job at real estate while keeping a toe in my writing ventures. Success at anything requires commitment and focus and passion.

I've been in this sort of twilight world of non-commitment for a while now, long enough to have created habits of thought and attitude in danger of shaping me into a fearful, hesitant person. I want instead to be a fearless, open-hearted, adventuresome person!

To that end, and as a first step, I will drag my fears -- those niggly little worries that live in the dark crannies of my brain -- into the light. Here are a few:

Imagining What Others Will Think of Me.

I got my license a year and a half ago and have trumpeted it to all my friends and acquaintances. Will they think I'm flighty for leaving? Will they respect me less? I have four leads for next year, acquaintances/friends who want to list in the spring. What will they think if I walk away after I've promised to help them?

Disappointing my Broker.

I like my broker very much, and I know he's trying to bring new agents on board. The thought of disappointing him makes me queasy, and that's affecting my ability to think this through.

Failure.

I alluded to this in my last post. I've just closed on the last of five contracts and am not currently involved in a contract process. I have one buyer client who is not in a hurry AT ALL and only two or three weakish prospects. I'm working on it, but what if I can't do it? If I decide to leave right now I won't know whether I would have failed to make it work. If I do leave, I might fail at my writing ventures and whatever Plan B turns out to be.

Money.

Related to the previous. If I stay and am unable to work at least one contract by the end of the year, I will have lost another $1,000 (or close to it) in business expenses. If I leave, I walk away from a lot of potential income, especially given that I have some prospects for this year and leads for work after the new year. And although the height of real estate season is winding down, surely I can drum up at least one contract which would pay my business expenses and give us a couple extra thousand. OTOH, the last drought I endured, between initial contracts shortly after receiving my license and this last spate of contracts, was nearly twelve months. I won't do that again.

Now that these fears are exposed, I can see what pasty little ghost things they are, especially the first three. Time to loosen their power over me.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, "You wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you realized how seldom they do." My friends and acquaintances may take a minute or two to wonder why I'm quitting (if indeed I do) and what I might be up to next, and their musings will quickly be drowned by their own worries. And as for those I've "promised" to help, good for me I happen to know several top-notch agents I can refer them to.

My broker is a big boy. He's been in the business a long time, and though I know he likes me and thinks I have potential, he's seen hundreds of agents come and go. And I'm not exactly a million dollar producer. I think he'll live.

Failure is a matter of perspective. If a venture doesn't turn out as envisioned, it is a failure measured against initial expectations, but the venture has succeeded in moving me along a path to a place I would not otherwise have been, and along that path I've picked up new friends, new skills, and new strength of purpose. (Ok, not much of the latter yet).

The money worry remains a more legitimate concern. It should be the primary concern actually. I started this business solely for the purpose of bringing more funds into the household. So far I've done that, but not nearly the amount I'd expected for the hours worked. Monitoring my business and household budgets and being realistic about projected income will -- I hope -- help me decide this rationally, without a bunch of bugaboos clouding the process.