Distraction Busters

I am sitting at my desk, fingers flying across the keyboard, while I watch out the front window at workmen in our neighbor’s yard. Two of the men are digging a hole. Why are they digging a hole? They are digging in the side yard near the street. Something to do with the water?

Dobby - A Cute Distraction

My dog is napping on my lap, making it somewhat difficult to type. I glance at the time. I want to beat the crowds to the grocery store. With guests arriving Monday, I have a largish shopping trip planned. Fortunately, San Antonians don’t seem to grocery shop much before 11:00 on a Saturday morning. Everyone has a sleep-in.

This is how my morning writing session is going, unconnected wonderings and worries interspersed with moments of actual work.

Distractions nip at me constantly. An inevitable part of the writing life I suppose. I don’t think I handle them very well. I’ve written that a life goal of mine is to attain a feeling of wholeness. I dislike feeling scattered, and this constant succumbing to distractions contributes to that feeling. 

 I want to blame external factors for this inability to sit still, to focus, to feel integrated. Aside from musing-type distractions (staring out the window), there are distractions that willpower won’t make go away. Family members like to visit for a couple of days at a time, and I like to have them, but the bed and breakfast times can disrupt an entire week — cleaning, meal planning, shopping, and the visit itself.  I have too many volunteer commitments, with lunch and evening meetings. Even one meeting in the day can make the whole day feel disrupted. Home care, cooking, the dogs, the bills. Really it’s no more than others have to contend with, and less than most. But they’re MY distractions, and I’ve got to learn to integrate them into a good, creative life, because they’re not going away.

The root of the problem is internal. A resistance to the work that I know from experience will melt away as soon as I sit down and let myself fall into it. So today I am going to list distraction-busting practices for the month of April, and re-visit them on May 1 to see how I’ve done.

• Create a routine:  This is a biggie. I have tried for years, without much success, to have a set, daily routine. Largely because of Kat’s second-shift schedule, my best writing time is between about 8:00 and 9:00 am, and then early afternoon, like between 1:00 and 3:00, and then again for a couple of hours in the evening. With meetings popping up here and there, mostly in the evening, and family visits, and Kat’s weird days off, I stick to this routine maybe two days of any given week. So, I will practice getting in three hours of writing every day, regardless of the ‘when,’ though I will try for that morning and early afternoon rhythm.  That’s my practice goal for April. A separate, long-term goal will be to set my writing times/days, and not accept volunteer commitments that conflict with those times. (This has to be long-term as some of my commitments run to the end of 2014). 

•  Keep my e-mail closed while writing.

• Keep my internet browsers closed while writing. We’ll see how this one goes. If it costs too much in willpower, I can either check out one of those internet blocking programs or write on my Alphasmart. 

• Practice mindfulness meditation.

I can think of others, but this is enough to start with.

It’s coming up on 3:00 now, and time to take Dobby — my little white ball of energy — on his walk. I feel good because I can count this as a successful writing day, and I have no meeting tonight, so I plan to get some fiction writing done. (That’s right. I have nowhere to be on a Saturday night! It’s ok because our Saturday is Monday. The life of shift work).

Postscript:  The men across the street are installing a sprinkler system. It looks like an archeological dig over there. Watching other people do manual labor makes for an almost irresistible distraction! Lucky for me they should finish today.

How To Make a Habit

My plan was to post much more frequently. Well, best laid plans and all that. Last weekend I took a client out and ended up in a bidding war over a nice, well-priced house. Fortunately my client's offer was accepted, but between the ensuing paperwork and the things I actually had planned for the week, my writing time was shot. But it doesn't have to be that way. I need new habits strong enough to stand up to the curve balls of life!

According to Charles Duhigg in his excellent book The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, habits are automatic routines that allow us to navigate daily life without burning our brains out making decisions at every turn. Duhigg ends with a nifty formula for changing a deeply-rooted habit. A key component of his formula is identifying the craving a habit satisfies.

Duhigg gives an example from his own life of going to the break room at work every afternoon to eat a cookie. Wanting to break the cookie habit, he figures out first what he's craving. The sugar? The social time with co-workers? The exercise? It takes trail and error, but he finally realizes that his true craving is socializing. He takes the cue that triggers the routine - the cue being a certain time in the afternoon - and has that cue direct him to a co-worker's desk for a chat instead of to the cookie room. (Couldn't help but wonder how his co-workers appreciated his new habit).

A habit I am working on changing is flipping on the TV when I sit down to eat supper. If I don't have showings, I'm eating most days around 6:00 or 6:30 pm, so it's the local news or House Hunters, respectively. My craving isn't the TV so much as the need to unplug from the stresses of the day, to go into non-thinking zombie mode. The problem is that I don't have a 9 to 5 job. Kat works an afternoon/evening shift, and unless I have an appointment in the morning, I spend the time with her. So 6:00 pm or so is right in the middle of my work day, much too soon to unplug completely. But once the TV is on, it's hard to turn off.

So here is the new habit:

Cues: Time - 6:00ish; Sitting down to eat
New Routine: Sit at table and read while eating (something light that's not a page-turner); wash up dishes; return to desk

The reading should satisfy my craving to unplug - to not think about work for a bit - but shouldn't present as big a temptation to vegetate and not return to work. Once I'm in my office in front of the computer, it's easy to get to the task at hand, and if I do this enough days in a row, then voila! New habit. No more thinking about it or struggling with will power to avoid the TV.

Part of me thinks that I should have the will power to return to my desk regardless of the kind of break I take, but what I tell myself I should be able to do and what I actually DO do are two different things. We'll see how well this approach works.