How To Make a Habit

My plan was to post much more frequently. Well, best laid plans and all that. Last weekend I took a client out and ended up in a bidding war over a nice, well-priced house. Fortunately my client's offer was accepted, but between the ensuing paperwork and the things I actually had planned for the week, my writing time was shot. But it doesn't have to be that way. I need new habits strong enough to stand up to the curve balls of life!

According to Charles Duhigg in his excellent book The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, habits are automatic routines that allow us to navigate daily life without burning our brains out making decisions at every turn. Duhigg ends with a nifty formula for changing a deeply-rooted habit. A key component of his formula is identifying the craving a habit satisfies.

Duhigg gives an example from his own life of going to the break room at work every afternoon to eat a cookie. Wanting to break the cookie habit, he figures out first what he's craving. The sugar? The social time with co-workers? The exercise? It takes trail and error, but he finally realizes that his true craving is socializing. He takes the cue that triggers the routine - the cue being a certain time in the afternoon - and has that cue direct him to a co-worker's desk for a chat instead of to the cookie room. (Couldn't help but wonder how his co-workers appreciated his new habit).

A habit I am working on changing is flipping on the TV when I sit down to eat supper. If I don't have showings, I'm eating most days around 6:00 or 6:30 pm, so it's the local news or House Hunters, respectively. My craving isn't the TV so much as the need to unplug from the stresses of the day, to go into non-thinking zombie mode. The problem is that I don't have a 9 to 5 job. Kat works an afternoon/evening shift, and unless I have an appointment in the morning, I spend the time with her. So 6:00 pm or so is right in the middle of my work day, much too soon to unplug completely. But once the TV is on, it's hard to turn off.

So here is the new habit:

Cues: Time - 6:00ish; Sitting down to eat
New Routine: Sit at table and read while eating (something light that's not a page-turner); wash up dishes; return to desk

The reading should satisfy my craving to unplug - to not think about work for a bit - but shouldn't present as big a temptation to vegetate and not return to work. Once I'm in my office in front of the computer, it's easy to get to the task at hand, and if I do this enough days in a row, then voila! New habit. No more thinking about it or struggling with will power to avoid the TV.

Part of me thinks that I should have the will power to return to my desk regardless of the kind of break I take, but what I tell myself I should be able to do and what I actually DO do are two different things. We'll see how well this approach works.